Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Movie Collection

When I was young, one of the gifts that I would look forward to receiving was my Disney movie. Every year I got a new one for Christmas. It was probably one of my favorite gifts each year. Unfortunately, these movies are pretty useless to me as this was the time before the dvd player. It was in the time of the VHS, and if you don't know what that is, then you are a young reader, or I have just started to become old.

This was a tradition, however that I wanted to share with my children. I want them to have all the Disney classics. So each Christmas, I have bought the kids a Disney DVD, and well as put them on the wishlist for others to buy them as well. So far our collection is small.

When I was in Canada last year,  I noticed that some of my brothers DVD's and Blue Rays came also with a digital copy. One that you could put on other devices such as your laptop or phone or whatever. I thought, what I great idea!  Do you think I have found a DVD or Blue Ray with one here? Nope. So frustrating. To add even further, I probably couldn't play it on half of our devices anyways (although there is software out there to help with this kind of problem, i.e. Cyberlink).

The digital world is such a great one, one where I can share some of my Christmas traditions with my kids with movies. On the other hand it is so frustrating with all the different  options, systems that don't work with one another. And this is not really where I wanted to go with this post!

Don't you just love posts that start as one thing, and end up something else?

Do you have a movie collection? Or whats your favorite Disney movie?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Last Push For The December Class

The second class for the Blogger Design eCourse starts Saturday. I would really love to fill the class, so the rest of the spots are selling for only $10! That's right you can learn to design your own blogspot blog for only $10. If you haven't heard about my eCourse here is what you get:

Whats included:
* A month access to the course website, and all the materials
* An eBook for you to download and keep that covers the basics.
* 3 Blogger Templates for you to work from.
* 8-10 Lessons that include video tutorials.
* Access to forums for peer to peer feedback.
* The opportunity to ask me questions and get help on you design.
* Access to a resource list to help you find everything you need for your design.
* Access to a private group on Facebook to network with other bloggers.

What is covered in the lessons:
* Basic CSS and HTML needed for your design.
* How to use images and fonts in your design.
* Customization of Backgrounds
* Customization of navigations Bars (including drop down menus)
* Installation of social networking buttons and share buttons
* Customization of sidebar areas and post areas (including gadgets, post titles, etc.)
* The little extras (post signature, dividers and more)
* How to add additional sidebars and gadget areas.
* How to install your new design.
* Installing different commenting systems for better ineraction on your blog
* An overview of SEO (search engine optomization) on Blogger

What programs are needed: None! I will show you how to do anything you need design wise using the free online programpixlr. However, I do recommend GIMP, a very powerful and free editing program.

Depending on what programs students have, video tutorial will be provided for pixlr, GIMP and Photoshop if there is a demand for them.

How it works: Once you have purchased your spot, you will receive an email from me with more details. A couple days before the start of the class you receive log-in information for eCourse site. The first two weeks are devoted to lessons. Every day or second day (depending on the size of the lesson) I will post a lesson. You are free to log-in and work on them at any time. Knowing that some people are very busy, the remaining of the month left open for any questions you may have. There were be forums available for everyone to post in. I will check in a couple times a day to answer and help.

So you can choose to follow along with the lessons, or take the entire month to work on your design at your own pace.

Where do I sign up?
You can purchase your spot in my design shoppe HERE.
There is a limit to 30 spots per class to ensure that I am able to help each and everyone who participates.

*Due to the holidays in December, and it just being a busy time for everyone, this class will run for an extra two weeks.

Here are a couple great examples of what people have accomplished in my eCourse (click on the images to visit their blogs):

dawns diaster ephesianswife nuggetonabudget pbj

So what are you waiting for? Come join us in the December class :)

Linking up with:

in the moment, project alicia, the paper mama, live and love out loud , seven clown circus, jenni from the blog, yee wittle things, whiskey talking, La-La's Home Daycare

Monday, December 10, 2012

Favorite Time of The Day

Do you have a favorite time of the day?

I do. 5am.

You are probably wondering why on earth would I choose 5 am as my favorite time of day. No mother in her right mind would want to be up at such an early hour.

Well, for me it is really simple. This is the only time of day where I get true uninterrupted 'ME' time for at least an hour (most days). I love my family, but I also love to have a moment to myself. One where I am not hearing 'please, please, please,  please, please', crying or having a babe attached to my boob.

I try to enjoy a quite bath each day, however it is usually cut short by a babe wanting food or a toddler wanting to join (or screaming at the door because I locked them out.....), so there is no chance for a moment then.

But want about after the kids go to bed?  Well, Olivia usually isn't in bed until around 10 and if she does go to sleep before then, this is time spent with my husband usually watching some tv show so we can actually hear what words are being said (toddlers are really loud). This isn't Me time... its me AND husband time.

So 5 am it is. And it is wonderful. It is quiet. It is the calm before the storm of the day and totally worth getting up early for.

Whats your favorite time of day?

(PS... The Blogger Design eCourse for the Decemeber class is only $10, sign up before the 15th and learn how to design your own blogger design and pick up some other tips as well! )



The Life Of Faith

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Setting Working Hours

I started working again when Olivia was two weeks old. Since then I have often worked all day. Up early in the morning, up as late as I could stay awake. Yet I still feel so behind on many of my goals. I am not blogging as much as I like. I am not concentrating on getting my name out there for blog designs or my blogger design eCourse. I have managed to get my photography business started, and that is going well.

Still, I feel a bit scattered and all over the place. I am also unfocused (perhaps because I have a newborn....). I think this is part that I am so disorganized. This has also lead to me being a little burnt out. I am tired and a bit cranky, but I have a hard time putting my work away.

But I am going to change that. I am going to set some work hours. Some hours that don't require me to work and take up family time. I hope to step away from the computer each night. I spend way to much time on it. Starting tomorrow.

I am also going to share with  you some goals, perhaps but posting it to the world, I will stay more motivated.

1. Post regularly here and on Sommerfugl Design.

2. Promote my blogs and eCourse(s) better.

3. Redesign Sommerfugl Design

4. Redesign The Not So Ugly Ducklings

5. Get caught up on paper work

6. Start organizing a WP design eCourse.

7. Work on my studio, and full launch Sommerfugl Photography by March 1st.

Those are the major things on my list. There are many many more smaller jobs that I need to finish as well. I am hoping that by adding some structure to my day I can maybe get caught up without feeling so burnt out.

It is so easy when you work at home to get distracted.

So that is my new plan. And just because, I am going to share a photo from a recent shoot that I am proud of.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Goodbye Inspired Tuesday... for now

So, I just have not been able to keep up with putting up a link up every week. I love the idea of Inspired Tuesday, but I honestly don't have the time at the moment to carry it out as I want it. So for the moment I am ending it. Perhaps I will start it up again in the new year. Thank you to all those who linked up regularly. It was greatly appreciated!

And with that comes a regular post. I really love reading Toddle Along Tuesday with Growing Up Geeky, so today I am going to play along and list some confessions.

Confession Number 1:

My kid fell out of the bath tub and on his head. I honestly thought he broke his neck by the way he landed on the hard concrete floor and other than wailing did not move. You may be wondering why this is a confession. Stuff happens right? Well what if I said I was in the bath with him. Yep.

Confession Number 2:

I brush my hair like.. once a week. It has gotten really long as I refuse to pay the large amount it costs for a hair cut here in Denmark. Brushing it is just so much work, which takes too much time. Time I don't have. So I wear it up every day. But it's okay.. see next confession.

Confession Number 3:

I only get dressed like...  once a week. In May I became self employed. I started up my own Blog Design business (Sommerfugl Design), this meant that most of the contact I had with people was through email. I didn't need to leave my house  other than to pick up my kids from daycare. Why bother getting dressed when I could stay comfy all day. Now that I am starting up my photography business I am actually having to get dressed more than once a week.

Confession Number 4:

I let my kids draw on the furniture. The kids furniture that is. To be more specific, their plastic table and chair from IKEA. It is super easy to clean up, and the love it. Plus it saves the grown up furniture.

Confession Number 5:

I breastfeed Olivia when I smell on of the toddlers poopy diapers so my husband has to change it. Hehe.

Those are my confessions. I could probably come up with a lot more, but I am too tired. What confessions do you have?


Monday, December 3, 2012

Easy breakfast for mom.

*** There are still 3 spots up for grabs for this months Blogger Design eCourse, plus opportunities for great discounts. This is a great opportunity for you to skip the blog designer and learn to do it yourself!***

I have a secret, or perhaps it is more of a confession. I have a major brown sugar addiction. If I can find a reason to use it, I will. It is just so darn good!

With 3 under 3, one of which being a newborn, I find it really difficult to eat breakfast. I have attempted to eat with the kids, but honestly this is the best time for me to get stuff done. Well that is until my son thought it was fun to throw his oatmeal everywhere.. Anyways.. it is an easy meal for me to skip.

I know I shouldn't. But I do. All the time. And honestly I have never been a breakfast person anyways. But I know if I am going to reach my nursing goals, eating enough through out the day is important. Working in breakfast is an easy way to to do this.

Now I really wanted to work oats into my diet, as they are supposed to be really good for milk production. However... I hate oatmeal. Like gagging hate. I have tried it warm, cold, loaded with sugar (even brown sugar), uncooked with milk (very popular here in Denmark). I just don't dig the taste and I don't dig the texture of cooked oatmeal. Blegh...

But... one tired morning I was starving and looking for something to eat. I had some natural yogurt  so dry oats... and brown sugar. Who knew this combination would actually be good. But I swear... it is awesome! So yummy, and so easy to make.

Throw some oats in a bowl. Cover with yogurt. Add a spoon full of brown sugar. Mix and eat.

Easy, quick, and sorta healthy breakfast. And so much potential  You could add whatever to this to make it better. Fruit for one. I also like to add almonds. One night I mixed up some, added some almond flour and some frozen raspberries. It made a great dessert.

Sorry, I didn't take any pictures. I ate mine too fast this morning

Do you have some sort of mom on the go easy breakfast? I would love to hear what it is.

The Life Of Faith

Friday, November 30, 2012

He Calls Me Moo

I have to admit something.

I need/want a break from my children.

Things have been a bit rough in the toddler department these days. I hate to say it, but so far the 'terrible twos' have kind of been terrible. I was really hoping that it wouldn't be that way. But for the last few months much of our days are filled with screaming children.

At first we understood the screaming. At first it was mostly due to misunderstanding her. Now however, screaming is just part of her language. Add crying and whining and repeating to that list. It is enough to drive anyone batty.

We have temper tantrums because we do not allow our children to jump off the back of the couch (or climb up the back of it in general). We have tantrums because we are not allowed in the knife drawer. We have a tantrum because she doesn't want to wear a diaper and use the potty instead. 10 minutes later is is because she wants a diaper. She has a tantrum over everything and believes that she should be ruler of the house.

The tantrums are not because she can not communicate with us anymore. We tell her that we don't kick cups around, or bang glasses on the table. She tells us to wait until she is done... I could not wait for her to start talking with us... now she is talking back to us... sigh....

We have tried to keep our cool, we have lost our cool with her, we have tired time outs, we have tired calming trying to talk to her about it, we have tried ignoring it, we have tried standing her in the corner. Nothing works. She just doesn't listen to us.

Before she started talking, our daycare actually asked us to have her hearing checked, because she couldn't figure out if E could not or would not listen. We were also refereed to a speech therapist. Then suddenly E started talking, we it was just she wouldn't listen.

We have even though that perhaps she was just not getting the attention she needed. Last week, she had to stay home for the week. We spent each day with her, doing things that she liked. Other than the 24 hours were she was throwing up, tantrums continued. We try and do one on one time with each kid every day. She is just a hard headed, stubborn little girl. In some ways, this is a good thing, but it sure doesn't make parenting any easier.

Add this to a new born and a one and half year old who cries and has tantrums because he can not complete communicated his needs yet, our house hold is a bit stressful at the moment. It is, for the most part, just me and my husband. We have no close family or friends that live in our city, which means no breaks for us. We are tired. We are frustrated. We are so very ready to be past this stage in our daughters life.

Some days I wonder why on earth did we decide to have 3 under 3. It feels like insanity. But then we have moments like these:

1. My children use the danish word for mother for me. It sounds like the word more. My son can't really say it. He calls me moo, which is both very cute and a tiny bit insulting.

2. Most nights the oldest two, just before bed time run around the apartment laughing and playing together. It is beautiful when the get along and like each others company.

3. Having E tell me she loves me melts my heart every time.

4. Olivia really saves the day lately, she is one smiley baby.

5. Toddler dancing. It's adorable.

It is those moments that make all the tantrums, screaming and tears so very worth every moment.

The Hollie Rogue

Thursday, November 22, 2012

The Great House Debacle

If you are a long time follower, then you will know we had tried to buy a house last February. That fell through, so we decided to rent a house. I even wrote a nice long post about it.

Now, we did get an offer to rent one of the houses. BUT, then... I decided to start my own business. Part of this decision included accepting that we would have to make things work, and not move into too much bigger place, as we just could not afford it.

So we put our names on a list for a slightly bigger apartment. And we got offered one, but then the house thing came up again. So we decided to go that route again, and turned down the apartment (and another, and another house to rent... and one other apartment).

We spent our summer going back and forth with a realtor, and 3 different banks. We found a house that felt 'right'. Finally, after months and looking down every ally, we got an answer. We just can not buy a house right now. No way. Period.

The whole process was emotionally exhausting for me. We were kind of stuck in this limbo, as if we bought a house, we would be moving to another city. It is kind of hard to start up a business (Sommerfugl Photography), if you don't know where you are going to be living.

There were many tears and heated conversations over the whole process. I just wanted to decide one way or another and move on.

After we got our final answer from the bank (which they made us wait weeks for!), we made a decision. A final decision. We decided to stay in the city we were in and get and put ourselves back on the wait list for a rental house and be poor until my photography business picked up. This decision felt great. It was decided.

At least I thought so.

Either the same night or the next morning (I can't remember) we got a phone call from my husbands uncle. He informed us that him and his sons where going to try and buy a house that was for sale on their street. He wanted to know that, if their offer went through, if we would like to rent it. He invited us to come down and look at it before any decisions were made (I should point out, they had not had their offer accepted yet, but we were able to look at the house since they knew the people selling it).

The next day (or same day) we went down and looked. It is about the same size as our place, but with 3 bedrooms. It has a huge yard. It has a storage shed and a garage. It would be a little cramped, but we decided manageable for a few years. AND I could use the garage as a small studio for photography.

So we said yes, we would rent it if they bought it.

We were now waiting on that whole house buying process again. That night we got a call saying that their offer was accepted, and that they just needed to get the loan from the bank. We would have an answer by the 24th of November.

Last night we got good news. They bought the house, the loan went through. This means we are moving! We have the house from March 1st. Time to start slowly packing I guess.

Its just a little house, but it is a house, with a yard. The kids are going to love it. And see that garage. That is the future home of Sommerfugl Photography.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Friday's Letters - Nov. 16

I think it has been a couple of weeks since I did ones of these. I think it is time for another one. So here it goes.

Dear Flu: You are not welcome here. You have made my husband sick, which does not happen often. It seems you have decided to start getting chummy with me as well. Not cool.

Dear Husband: I hope you feel better soon. Also thank you for driving me around and supporting all the purchases I made yesterday to help get my photo biz up and running.

Dear Children: I love you.

Dear eCourse Students: I am so excited to be starting the Blogger Design eCourse with you this week! I am so excited to be working with all of you and teaching you how to design your own blogs.

Dear WordPress users: I am hoping to make a eCourse for you as well.

Dear Texture lovers: I have a new free texture on sommerfugl design today.

Dear Family in Canada: I miss you all very much.

Dear Facebook: Please stop messing around, or at the very least, update its users when you make changes so that they understand why they are no longer seeing posts from pages. You used to be such a great place for blogs to reach their readers. Now you have made it pretty difficult.

Dear Readers: I hope you all have a great weekend!


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Breastfeeding Olivia so far

So if you read my blog regularly, you probably noticed me dropping hints that breastfeeding has been a bit of a up hill battle for us this time around. I don't think I have fulling blogged about it yet, so here it is.

Olivia latched and started nursing within the first 30 minutes of being born. It was so important to me that we get off on the right foot that I requested to be helped moved into a better position so that I could nurse her before then even stitched me. There was a moment of struggle, but she grabbed on right away and it seemed like all was good.

By the next evening I was in pain, my nipples were cracked and I knew something was not right, but I wasn't sure what it was. Olivia seemed to latch well, but it didn't feel quite right. It felt like she was chewing on my nipples. That night we noticed it looked like she was tongue tied. We had that looked at, and yes, she was very very tongue tied. Got it clipped, and it seemed we were on the right road.

That first week kind of sucked, as within those first 24 hours she had done a lot of damage, so I had a nipple shield because of the pain, and boy was it a pain. But we managed to get Olivia off that without too much trouble by the end of the second week. However I did end up with a painful plugged milk duct, which some sessions with my breast pump cured.

Then I got thrush. If you have not had thrush, it feels like tiny needles coming through your nipples when you nurse. It is very unpleasant. Me, not being a fan of my doctor, took a more natural route in curing the thrush. I used soda water a number of times a day as well as applied natural yogurt once a day and was pretty much topless to avoid moisture build up. This solved that issue. I think I had caught it just in time.

It had to only go up from there right? At this point I was pretty over the whole breastfeeding thing. I was tired, and tired of it being unpleasant. However, besides a few hiccups here and there Olivia was doing great. She was growing, and latching fine, and even though I was hating breastfeeding, it was still our 'thing', something that I was only sharing with her.. so I pushed on.

Then I has a small bought of mastitis. Having had it with Julius, I recognized the symptoms right away. I loaded up on garlic (my body does not react to antibiotics well, so again went more natural), and went to bed. I forced myself to stay in bed for at least 24 hours. This is a very difficult thing for me to do. I had stuff to do! But getting some much needed rest made a big different, and we got over that.

Since then breastfeeding has been okay. Due to my fybromyalgia, some days it is painful to feed Olivia. I also have painful letdown, which although painful, it is more annoying than anything. I always notice when my boobs leak, which is pretty much every 1.5hrs.

Speaking of leaking.. it just flows out of my right boob. Like soak my entire shirt regardless of how many nursing pads I have in there. I don't know how many times I have had people awkwardly try and tell me that my boobs are leaking. I just shrug my shoulders. There really isn't much I can do about it, and honestly I don't feel like having to change my shirt 10 times a day, so I just wander around in a wet shirt. When we are out and about I try to wear a sweater, but that usually gets soaked as well.

So other than the painful let down and the  painful days of feeding, breastfeeding is finally starting to go smoothly.

I don't know how long I will breastfeed. I think, as long as Olivia continues to grow, I will do it for as long as she wants to. I don't really have any specific goals other than to make it to 6 months. We will she how it goes though. I have some things coming up that require me to be away from her for a couple of hours, so we will be introducing a bottle to her, and that is a whole other story!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Inspired Tuesday - November 13th

Desirae R

I believe that all posts can inspire someone else. Blog hops are a great way to find each other, so I therefore invite you to link up your blog posts every Tuesday here. The rules are simple: link up any blog post, there are no required themes, and it does not have to be about photography. It can be about anything. I would appreciate if you could link back to me, but you don't have too. That's it. Looking forward to seeing your posts this week! Oh and the link up is open all until Sunday. Also if you tweet your posts.. it would be great if you could use the hashtag #inspiredtuesday :)

I apologize once again for missing this link up a couple of weeks in a row. Life has just been a whirl wind lately! There are some big things happening right now in our lives. I hope I can share what it is soon (no, I am not pregnant.. again). But I will give you a hint, here is my Christmas list:

Newborn hats

Soft blankets




doll sized bed


lamb skin

I have also been super busy with the Blogger Design eCourse. The first class starts this week. I am so excited about it. As of the moment there are 18 people signed up, but I would love to have a couple more (11 more actually). So here is what I am prepared to do to fill the class if possible. I will give you a spot for 10$ if you 1) put a button in your sidebar while you are taking the course and 2)write a post about the course sometime within the first two weeks of the course. Just so you know, the access to the November class lessons is opened an extra month, so If  you don't have time to start this week, there is plenty of time for you to follow the lessons. If you are interested send me an email and I will give you a coupon code.

Okay, now on to this weeks  inspirational freebie. Here are a couple Facebook covers I made to share with you all:

Free Facebook Cover

Free Facebook Cover

These can be downloaded from HERE

I hope you all have a wonderful week.

I am also linking up with:

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Letters To My Children - Nov. 11th 2012

Dear Elisabeth

I will admit, we have been having a rough go with you the last couple of weeks. You have been cranky. You have screamed. A lot. You have been a little rebel doing everything you are not supposed to despite the amount of attention we give you. You just have not been listening. Even daycare has noticed this little period of rebellion. You were even not sleeping through the night, often crying for your dad to come sleep with you (which he did, every night). We were all getting very frustrated with you.

Then, during on of yours screaming fits I noticed that you have teething coming in. And it all made sense. You have never been a good teether. New teeth has always made you a poor sleeper and a little monster when you are awake.

I can not wait for your teeth to finish breaking through. Seriously, I want my sweet little girl, that kind of listens to me when I tell her to stop and not run away from us in the parking lot. Or to stop hitting your brother, or to stop standing on chairs. Really kid.. we allow you to do most things, unless it is dangerous. Our patience is also wearing thin on your scream fits, where nothing stops them.

I sure hope it really is the teeth.

All this being said... you have also become a lot of fun lately. You really beginning to talk with us, and it is fun having little conversations with you. I have even noticed that you are able to separate English and Danish a bit, and will switch to English when talking to me if you feel I am not understanding you. I feel like we are right on the edge of a language explosion and I am just waiting for it to go. I can't wait to talk to you more!

I am also enjoying that you will model for me a bit when I take pictures. And I think it is adorable that you have become obsessed with dresses and skirts. I am not sure why, as we have never really dressed you in them, but you want to wear them all the time.  I am pretty sure it is because of the way the flow, since you call them dancers.

It is both a very frustrating and exciting time in your life for all of us.

Linking up with The Super Sunday Sync

Friday, November 9, 2012

I'm Getting Excited

The first class of the Blogger Design eCourse starts next week, and I am getting so excited! I really can't wait to teach the class. I love the idea of sharing my knowledge and giving other mamma's the chance to build great looking blog designs without having to pay the high costs of a designer, because lets face it, designers are expensive. I know this because I am one! But in truth, $25 is a lot more manageable for most than $100's. Plus there is also that feeling of ownership that comes with creating something yourself. I am happy that I will get the share that feeling with others.

As much as I am excited, I am nervous. I would really love to see this eCourse take off, however I have not filled all the spots for the November class and that makes me worry. It makes me worry that this will not be success. It makes me doubt myself. But then I try to remind myself, this is just the first class, and like anything else some things just take time to get going. The word needs to get spread, and sometimes that just takes time. Low class sign up or not, I will run the eCourse for the next few months before I determine the success or failure of this current business prospect. I am thinking it can be a hit though.. don't you?

Want to help me spread the word? Maybe you could by sharing this post, or tweeting, pinteresting, sharing etc this page: I would be forever great-full!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A Wordfull Wednesday

So I have been a bit quiet these past couple of weeks. It's because I have been super busy, but In a good way. First of all, in the beginning of October we welcomed another babe into the family. My brother in-law and his wife welcomed their second child and I gained a nephew. I was also honored that they let me take their newborn photo's. This was kind of my first 'official' newborn shoot and it turned out well I think. Here are a couple samples:

This was really encouraging so I have been slowly getting things set up to finally launch my photography business here.

The other big that I have been putting many many hours in is my Blogger Design eCourse, that is set to start next week.

The eCourse got it's own homepage (you can check it by clicking the above image), and I am just about all set for the start of the first class next week. I am so excited about it! If you are interested in learning how to design your own Blogger blog, you should totally consider the course. My testing girls did a great job on their sites. There are still spaces left in the November class (which is running an extra month long due to all the things happening in the US right now), and the December class is also open for registration. Also, if you use the coupon 5off you can get 5 dollars, meaning it will only cost you $20. For more info on what is included in the eCourse, check out the website HERE.

So that is what I have been up to :) Happy Wordless Wednesday Everyone.

Linking up with: Sarah Halstead Photography, Project Alicia, Live and Love Out Loud, Wittle People Wednesday, Jenni From The Blog, Yee Wittle Things, Like Me on Facebook

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Goodbye Co-Sleeping

There are a couple of different ways co-sleeping is defined. Some say it is when the baby sleeps with you in the bed. Others say the babe just needs to be in the room. In my mind, co-sleeping is baby in bed.

We co-slept with my son for 6 months. We have co-slept with Olivia since the day she was born. It has been awesome, and I am sure it is one of the major reasons I am surviving. It is so easy to just pop a boob in her mouth when she is hungry and doze off until she fusses at me to move away from here (she does not like to cuddle until the morning).

This morning, while sitting and eating breakfast, my husband asks me if I remembered sitting up then kissing Olivia on the head last night, waking her up. I have no memory of this what so ever.

My has been hinting the last week or so about moving Olivia out of the bed. He thinks she will sleep better. Apparently, this morning he worked up the courage to tell me the reason why Olivia is not sleeping longer than 1.5 hours is because I do things like kissing her in my sleep often.

This kind of freaks me out. Sure, it is sweet, I am giving her kisses. In the process I am disturbing her, waking her up, which in turn wakes me up. Not only does this not sound like a good cycle, but in some ways I think it may be a bid dangerous that I am doing these things in my sleep without any memory of it.

So as of tonight, Olivia will sleep in a crib. This has meant a bit of a rearrangement of our room, as there is no way I am dragging myself out of bed to go to another room (which we don't have anyways) to get her. She will probably still end up in the bed at some point in the night, but hopefully we will both get a better sleep.

I am a bit sad about this. Even though she is not a cuddler, I like co-sleeping. I like having her close. I was expecting 6 months of it. It has only been 6 weeks. However, if anything were to happen to her after knowing that I have been doing these things in my sleep, I would never forgive myself. Honestly I don't think anything would ever happen to her, but my husband showed concern, and he is also in the bed with us, and he does get a say as well. We decided together that we should at least try the crib, so we are.

We needed a crib to put her in, so this also means the older kids have a rearranged room as well. Olivia got Julius's crib. Julius now has Elisabeth's crib, which has been put into the toddler bed. Elisabeth for now, has a mattress on the floor. Yep.. this means tonight, we will have two loose toddlers in their room.

I have a feeling we may be in for a long night...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Anniversaries and writing

Three years ago today, we made it official. We got married:

And what an amazing 3 years it has been. We now have 3 amazing children. I graduated from University. I started my own business. We moved to a new city. It has been a busy 3 years. It has been 3 years of ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade a moment away. I look forward to many more years together.

On a completely different note, but some what related. Tomorrow marks the start of NaNoWrimo

I had been debating whether or not I would participate this year. I am very very short for time and have a lot going on. But you know what, I love NaNoWrimo, and even if I only get a couple 1000 words, I always feel so accomplished. In 2010 I actually wrote a whole novel. It felt awesome. So again, I will try to reach that goal of 50 000 words. How is this related to my anniversary you ask? Well the first time I did NaNoWrimo was the year we got married. That's right, I spent part of my first morning married, sitting at my laptop in the hotel room writing. Romantic right ;) ?

Monday, October 29, 2012

Fybromy-whats- a?

This is something I have not really blogged about. Most because it has been a somewhat dormant issue the last few years. When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with Fybromyalgia. At that time, I was treated with a heavy dose of drugs, which resulted in two things. One I spent some time completely high in school, and two, the lining in my stomach was damaged and I couldn't even handle taking Tylenol and was in considerable pain for a few days.

Since that experience I have for the most part sworn off drugs. The pain meds I was on stopped working after a few doses ( this seems to be a normal trend for me with pain medication) and they did more damage than good. I decided to just deal with the pain and push through it. There were days that I did not get out of bed. There have been many tears out of frustration from feeling anywhere between achy to upright pain on a regular basis. But I learned my limits, and for the most part was able to manage the pain.

Fast forward to 3 years ago when I got pregnant. Some times, those with fybromyalgia gain relief from their symptoms while pregnant. I was one of those people, and since I just had 3 children next to back to back, I have been for the most part, symptom free. It has been wonderful.

I was completely unprepared for the flare up that happened and is still happening about a week after Olivia was born. Everything hurts and I am extremely tired. Granted I know these two things come hand in hand with having a baby, but this is different, this is fybro pain.  I am stiff and I feel like an old woman.

Another symptom of fybromyalgia is something called brain fog. This is something I have been experiencing a lot lately. It makes it hard to even put a sentence together. So focusing on work as been an interesting task. Actually, it has been down right frustrating as everything has been taking me twice as long.

It has also made breastfeeding a huge challenge. If I am having a really bad day, then breastfeeding hurts. It hurts when she latches and sucks. It hurts to be sitting or laying in one position too long.

I also have to really manage stress, as stress makes it much worse. Stress also hugely affects the quality of my milk, so it is important that I keep stress down for Olivia.

And all I can do is laugh at this.. As I am writing this, Olivia is nursing, one toddler is freaking out beside me because he can't get my now trashed sunglasses on, and the other one is freaking out at her dad for getting her dressed. Low stress environment? I think not.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Letters To My Children - Oct 28th

Dear the three of you

I just wanted to say I love you all so much. You make our life so exciting, and though frustrating at times, very fun as well.

I also wanted to say thank you for not making yesterdays shopping trip hell. You were all amazingly good until the very end. Granted, what can we expect after dragging you through the grocery store, the mall and another big store.. then hitting Toys R Us.. Lets just say, we did not stay long there. I am sure another couple of minutes there and all hell would have broken out.

I love when you play together. Olivia I know at the moment you are not included in this, but boy are you in for some fun when you can.

I love the hour right before bedtime, when Elisabeth and Julius run around, playing together. It is usually  an hour of laughter and it is great fun watching you two play and bond and have fun with each other. It is a wonderful break from the rest of the day when you are pestering and fighting with each other.

I sometimes worry that you two won't be as close as I would like you to be, but then I see these moments and know you two will always be there for each other. I can't wait for the days when it is all three of you playing together. It is going to be so much fun.

Linking up with the Super Sunday Sync

Friday, October 26, 2012

The Art Of Baby Laying

You would think, by my 3rd child I would have mastered this. You know, the very special art of transferring that adorable.. quiet.. sleeping baby from your arms to anywhere else. AND have them still sleeping for more than say 2 minutes. Say long enough to do something, like shower, or brush your teeth.. or just sit there sans baby.

I have a confession. I am horrible at this. I always end up with my hand, arm or whatever stuck, resulting in way to much movement, resulting in waking sleeping baby. Every.Single.Time.

After 3 children I still can not manage this. It is a bit pathetic really. It's not like I can't say I haven't had enough practice. I practice this art multiply times a day. I fail this art multiple times a day.

Oh well, I guess I will just have to deal with this:

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

My Dark Day

Today is usually a wordless wednesday post, but today I need to have words.

If you are a Gilmore Girls fan, then you may know what I mean by 'dark day' (remember that episode about Luke's dark day?). Well today is my dark day. 13 years ago I lost my father.  He bled out from a burst tumor in his lungs at home. We did not know he had cancer, so it was a very sudden and traumatic event in my life. One that I will never be able to rid from my mind. Time has for the most part eased the pain of losing my father and not having him in my life. However today, this year, on the anniversary of his death I am having a hard time. We were close, but I lost him at a young age and did not get to know him well. I hate that.

Perhaps it is because I have come such a long way in the last couple years that I am missing him so much more this year. There are big things happening in my life, and I wish he was here to share them with. I wish my children could have met him. I wish that he could have met my children, or heck even my husband.

I can't really put a lot of words to it, other than I just want to shy away from the world today and grieve a little. It has been many years now, but every time something big happens in my life I grieve just a little bit. I grieve those lost moments that I so desperately wish I could have with him.

Each year, I usually have a moment on the 24th where I remember. This year, I am a ball of emotion. I am sad. I am angry. I am disappointed. I am hurt. This year it is hitting my hard.

So if you are waiting for something from me today, I hope you will understand, I will get back to you tomorrow or the next day. Today I need time. I need to reflect. I need to grieve.

Linking up with:

Live and Love...Out Loud